5 Things You’d Never Guess About Living in Rural Paraguay

                Every time that I am about to go on a long trip to a new place, the advice of one of my wise creative writing professors always comes to mind. She always encouraged me to keep a journal from the point of preparation for the journey and throughout (at least) my first few months in a new place. Why? Not so much to remember what I did every single day, but because whenever a person goes to a new place, their senses are heightened to all the differences: in people, culture, nature, etc. After a few months the novelty wears off, and for example, you assume that having assigned seats in a movie theater, and all the exasperation that it causes, is just a normal part of life. The second year the changes in nature happen and you don’t even notice anymore. After almost six months Paraguay, I am beginning to experience this process of assimilation and normalization. A chicken pecking my leg while I am eating breakfast is no longer a surprise, but rather just one of many expected mishaps. Luckily, I have kept a journal, and would like to share five things that have now become part of the norm, but that I (and perhaps you?) would have never expected about living in rural Paraguay.

1.  Some of my future tomato crop may be stolen by the howler monkeys that live in the trees of my site. However, all bananas are safe despite the stereo-type. According to one of my many host-mothers, the monkeys here don’t eat them.
2. Certain fruits: grapes, mangos, and watermelon are considered “delicado” (delicate) in Paraguayan food culture. Attempting to make a fruit salad with all these ingredients indicates (to my many host-mothers) that I am in fact suicidal. Legend has it that if a person mixes watermelon and wine (grape product), they will okapu (explode!). I love how the word okapu sounds like the (yiddish?) caput—it’s over.
3. Most families in my site own an assortment of farm animals (chickens, geese, ducks, pigs, cows, sheep—usually each family has a couple of each). The catch: these animals are generally free-range. This often makes great “animal tv”—like the particular white chicken who liked to follow my host-family’s dog to pick off of his food. In return, the chicken compliantly acted as the dog’s chew toy. My favorite free range moment: one time I was hanging out with a family and drinking terere in their entry-way. There was a loud rustling noise and barking from a distance which quickly became louder. Suddenly we all threw our legs up in the air as a tiny, yapping dog chased a huge, squealing pig across the entire house and then right between our legs. The minute the animals had cleared the front door (and were outside), the dog went off to some new amusement and the pig lay down for a nap in the mud.
4.  The buses. Getting on a bus in Paraguay is always an adventure—while many of the long distance buses are pretty new and occasionally have AC, short distance buses, especially those that come (nearby) my site, make me question if it is safer to just stay home. Imagine, a mini-bus that is a least 50 years old. It drives on both dirt and asphalt roads and has a wooden floor. Underneath the dashboard, there is a huge gap to the outdoors. It makes many suspicious grinding and clanging noises. The bus driver is generally drinking terere with one hand (though luckily there is a person on the bus who collects the fares, and he is serving the tea). The bus is stuffed to the brim with people and groceries (50 kilo bags of flour, Cosco sized bags of noodles, chicken feed, children holding new pets in flour sacks etc). If your house is on the route, the bus will stop at your door, and the guy who collects the fares will help you off the bus and bring down your belongings. The bus is also painted bright yellow, bright blue, and bright red. There is no signage, and you know it’s your bus because you recognize the driver and know exactly which side road the bus parks on before leaving about a half-an-hour later than its scheduled time.
5. Despite the four facts above, if I don’t want to cook one day, I can order a decent pizza for pickup from a family that lives about a 10 minute bike ride from my house.